No retreat, no surrender
by Catchoo
Summary: Watchers on a retreat in Sunnydale? Dear Lord, this can't be good... Yes, it's another fluffy B/G fic - or at least it will be when it grows up
1. Chapter 1

_A huge thanks to my poor, harassed beta Erika without whom you'd be bathing in incorrect grammar and ill-conceived ideas right now._  
_Not owning, not making money, and yes I will put the characters back when I'm done. Even Giles._

'... and this guy is like Draco Malfoy but, you know, without the winning personality.'

'Uh, Will... Draco doesn't have a winning...' Xander halted under the Wicca's withering glare. 'Oh. Right. Irony. Got it.'

'Who's Draco Malfoy?' Anya's curious question earned her a dirty look too.

'Not the point' Willow snapped. 'The Council is sending a bunch of Watchers to Sunnydale on some kind of retreat thing, but Giles thinks it's just a cover for this Daniel creep to come here to take over as Buffy's Watcher.' She gave the assembled Scoobies a sad look. 'And I think Giles is going to let him.'

Xander's mumbled explanations about Draco Malfoy stopped abruptly as his brain caught up with events, and Anya's disappointed mutterings of 'Ah. Books,' was vociferously drowned out by his spluttered 'What? Why? I mean... _WHY??_' He gave the redhead a bewildered look before continuing sheepishly. 'Um. Who's Daniel again..?'

Willow closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath. Not that it helped, she still wanted to magic Xander into something icky. She let her gaze sweep over the rest of the dazed Scoobs, seeking out the one unperturbed member of the party. In answer to her beseeching look the blond vampire smirked and leant back against the headboard.

'What Red's trying to say is that this spanner who used to rag Rupert at school is coming over here to steal his Slayer, and the Watcher is too chicken to fight him.' The Wicca's eyes blazed threats of stakes and direct sunlight and a suddenly very uncomfortable Spike hurriedly moved off Buffy's bed and crossed over to the other side of the room. 'What? Just calling it as I see it' the vampire muttered with a sullen shrug. 'Watcher's probably got a one way ticket back to Blighty already, the lucky bugger.'

'There's nothing lucky about Giles' Willow ground out before looking at the rest of her friends. 'You should have seen him. He thinks he's useless. _We've_ made him think he's useless.' Her voice caught. 'And he really hates that this poophead Daniel will come over here to gloat at the loser Giles sees himself as. This inadequate ex-Watcher guy with no friends, no family...' the door opened on cue and Willow turned and glared icily at the newcomer '...and no Slayer.'

Oblivious to the tense atmosphere Buffy looked around the crowded room.

'Wow, full house. Must be a good show tonight' she observed lightly before catching Willow's eyes and quickly sobering. 'Okay guys, what's wrong?'

Willow pointedly turned her back on the blonde.

'We have to do something. Giles has given up and it's our fault' she said firmly.

Buffy's stomach instantly contracted into a small lump of solid dread.

'Giles? What about Giles?' she asked worriedly.

Willow gave her a contemptuous glare.

'What do you care?'

The Slayer's eyes flashed dangerously and she slowly repeated her question with angry emphasis on every word. The Wicca was too furious to heed the underlying threat.

'I heard you' she snarled back. 'And the answer is still the same. What do you care? What do you care that Giles is feeling useless just as long as you have the stupid Initiative to play Demons & Vampires with? What do you care that he's feeling hurt and lonely because his Slayer can't be bothered to get out of her boyfriend's bed long enough to let him know she's alive? What do you ca... What d...' Willow's voice finally broke and she looked at Buffy with suspiciously blank eyes, her anger slowly fading. 'He cried, Buffy. Giles _cried_. I've never seen Giles cry before. And he talked about going home. To England.' She stopped and turned blindly towards her girlfriend who quickly wrapped her arms around her and murmured soothing words into her hair. When the redhead finally surfaced there was a decidedly empty space by the door that seconds before had been occupied by Slayer. Willow shrugged and wiped impatiently at a lost tear. Ah, well. Later problem. First... She turned towards the unsettled Scoobies with a determined expression. 'We need to fix this.' She gave them a naughty if slightly tearful grin. 'And I have a couple of ideas on the how...'

*****

Buffy could feel the distinct taste of blood in her mouth as her lungs wheezingly objected to the abuse – and still she refused to slow down. Slow down would mean thinking, and that was a definite non-option. At least until she had thought of a way to make Giles stay in Sunnydale. Which, when she came to think of it, did involve thinking, so... Damn...  
Turning into a slow jog she looked around to get her bearings, and to her relief she could spot the entrance to Restfield Cemetery just a block away. She smiled sardonically. She actually found a dark and creepy cemetery comforting? How sad.

The broody Slayer slipped through the gate and was soon curled up on her favourite memorial for a spot of plotting and a hearty sulk. Why would Giles want to go back to England anyway? Fleeting memories of a beautiful woman prodded at her mind and her already foul mood took a turn for the worse. Ah, yes. Olivia. All of a sudden she remembered why thinking was bad. Mental pictures of Olivia wearing Giles' shirt tended to crop up. Not to mention disturbing pictures of a rumpled, sexy Watcher in a bathrobe. Oh, God. Bad pictures. Bad, bad pictures. She leant back against a comfortable marble angel with a faint smirk. Although aesthetically quite pleasing... She grew serious. Knowing that his body gave her warm fuzzies would probably have Giles on the next plane to London.

'Well, hello there little girl...' Buffy started and turned towards the leering voice. The vamp quickly unfanged. '...oh, shit. Um. Hello, Slayer.'

The blonde gave the unfortunate vampire a feral grin.

'And hello to you too' she replied pleasantly as she leapt off the monument. 'So what's a nice vamp like you doing in a place like this?'

'Uh, well, I was sorta going to feed, but with you being the Slayer and all I guess I'll just have to go to the Bronze instead.' The vampire took a couple of steps towards the gate and Buffy sighed. Okay, obviously not the brightest crayon in the box.

'Yeah, about that. No.'

The vampire gave her a confused look.

'No?'

'No.' She sighed impatiently and tried again. Pointing at herself she said slowly 'Slay-er. As in she who slays.' She pointed at the vampire. 'Slayee. As in he who turns to dust. Capice?'

It was clear that the vamp didn't capice. At all.

'You're going to kill me?' he asked incredulously.

Buffy felt a small pang of guilt.

'Not really. Someone's already done that' she tried to defend herself. 'I just...' She pulled out her stake and waved it hesitantly at him. The vamp was livid.

'But that's _murder!_'

'Well, so is draining people of blood' the Slayer replied with a pointed glare.

'But...' The vampire looked thoughtful for a while. 'Oh. Okay.'

Without warning he vamped out and attacked the unprepared blonde and they both fell headlong to the ground. Buffy grinned happily as she twisted herself free. This was more like it! She waited for her opponent to get up before sweeping his legs out from under him. The vamp went down with a surprised eep.

'Oops. Sorry' she apologized with an insincere giggle. The vampire growled in frustration as he once more crawled to his feet.

'That wasn't nice' he complained.

Buffy shrugged carelessly and blocked a punch aimed for her head.

'No, but it was fun' she replied with a sunny smile, quickly going in for another leg sweep. This time the vamp was prepared and he used the Slayer's imbalance to get behind her and wrap an arm around her neck. He roughly pulled her to him and moved his mouth close to her ear.

'So maybe I won't have to go out for dinner tonight after all, hm?' he mumbled mockingly. Buffy rolled her eyes and drove her elbow into his stomach. A muffled oof and an unfinished curse later she was dusting vampire out of her hair and feeling much better.

'Giles can't leave for England. I won't let him!' she yelled defiantly at the world in general, but apart from an annoyed voice yelling back telling her to shut up the universe met her statement with momentous indifference. Buffy shrugged and took off at a run towards the university. At least The Powers That Be had been forewarned.

*****

'We have to do something about Giles' Buffy panted as she exploded through the dorm room door. Xander was the only one to even look up at the commotion.

'Way ahead of you there, sister' he drawled complacently. Buffy caught Willow's eyes and some of the tension between them vanished as they giggled together. Xander gave them an affronted look. 'What? You're telling me I can't pull that off?'

The redhead calmly patted his hand.

'You can't pull it off, Xan' she concurred. 'But we love you for trying.'

The young man huffed good-naturedly and turned back to his animated argument with Anya and the alarmingly amused Spike. Buffy gave Willow a questioning look but the Wicca shook her head.

'You don't want to know. Believe me' she said with emphasis.

The Slayer nodded, knowing enough of Xander and Anya's squabbles not to doubt her. She took a deep breath.

'So. Tell me about Giles' she demanded grimly.

Willow gave her an uncomfortable glance.

'You're not going to like it' she replied.

'Giles is thinking of going back to England. Of course I'm not going to like it' Buffy growled. 'What I want to know is why.'

The redhead sighed.

'Just remember that I'm not totally fluent in Giles speak' she warned. The blonde nodded impatiently. 'Okay. From what he said I think it's because he's feeling old and lonely. He doesn't seem to think that we need him anymore.'

Buffy stared at her.

'Of course we need him' she exclaimed indignantly. 'How can he think we don't need him? I mean... he's Giles!'

'And when was the last time you told him that?' Willow asked. Buffy gave her a hurt look, but the Wicca pressed on. 'When was the last time you went to him for help? When was the last time you even visited him?'

'Well... I've had things...' the Slayer said defensively.

'We've all had "things"' Willow retorted. 'And none of them has included Giles.'

'He could have said' Buffy sulked.

'This is Giles we're talking about' the witch countered. 'You know – tall, English, kinda tweedy? Not really up front in the feelings department?'

'He hasn't worn tweed for months' Buffy muttered distractedly. 'Not since Olivia...' She met Willow's suddenly thoughtful eyes and quickly halted herself. 'Never mind.'

The Wicca wisely decided to let it go.

'And then there's this' she said instead, handing Buffy a letter with a familiar coat of arms. The blonde's face fell as she read the content.

'Oh great, a Sunnydale filled with Wesleys. How lucky can a Slayer get?' She paused and looked at Willow. 'Why are they coming here anyway?'

The redhead suddenly found the tabletop extremely fascinating.

'Umm...' She shot her friend an apprehensive glance before continuing at high speed. 'Giles thinks you're getting a new Watcher.'

'Huh?' Buffy stared blankly at her. Willow sighed and tried again.

'Giles thinks that you're getting a new Watcher.'

'Oh? Oh!' The Slayer's expression cleared. 'Well, _that's _not going to happen' she observed coolly.

Willow grinned at her.

'Darn tooting' she agreed.


	2. Chapter 2

Buffy sighed and grimly removed a twig from her bra. Stupid rhododendron. Next time Willow came up with one of her loopy plans _she _could go sit in a frisky shrubbery. Skilfully avoiding another unwanted twiggy advance the sulky Slayer shifted position – and froze. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. She looked down at the no longer quite square cake box with a crestfallen expression. Umm... Oops..? The rest of the Scoobies were going to kill her! Anxiously opening the box she heaved a deep sigh of relief – at least the cake was roughly the same shape as when it left the bakery. And her closeted chocoholic Watcher probably wouldn't be too touchy when it came to free chocolate cake anyway... She grinned as she remembered his embarrassed expression when she'd walked in on him and a big helping of Devil's Food Cake a couple of months earlier. Definitely on the top three list of Worst Squirming Watcher Moments Ever. Possibly only outdone by the time she'd found him deeply engrossed in a thumbed copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Buffy smiled fondly, warm fuzzies tingling through her body. God how she loved her occasionally so stuffy Watcher. In a very platonic way, she quickly added in case her subconscious was listening in and got ideas. _Uh huh. If I say so._ The clearly unimpressed voice in her head made Buffy nod insistently. Yes. Totally platonic, she clarified. _Oh, right. So I'm not picturing Giles eating that chocolate cake, swirling his tongue around the spoon to finish off the last clingy piece of frosting and closing his eyes in ecstasy at the rich chocolaty taste?_ Buffy stifled a small whimper. Well, I wasn't until now, she complained weakly. Her subconscious gave her a provocative smirk. _And just imagine what that tongue would feel like if he would..._ Yes, okay, I've made my point. Now stop it before I have to use Giles's flat for a cold shower – which pretty much would spoil the whole surprise concept of the surprise party – so just shut up, okay? Her unruffled subconscious grinned contentedly, still happily engrossed in chocolaty Giles fantasies. Buffy groaned in frustration. Why was Giles still home anyway? He should have been at the Magic Box twenty minutes ago and here she was skulking around in the shrub from Hell waiting for him to even leave. Jeez, late much? The grumbling blonde glared at Giles's front door and quickly forgot her grievances as he finally emerged in... jeans? Giles was wearing _jeans_? She tilted her head and moved a bit of rhododendron out of the way to better appreciate the view of jeans-clad Watcher butt. Wow. And really tight fitting they were too... Buffy allowed herself a few seconds of admiration before shaking her head. She was here on a mission, not to check her Watcher out. Her imagination grinned lazily. _Yes, but the checking out was an added bonus, wasn't it?_ The Slayer nodded absentmindedly, her eyes still firmly glued to Giles's backside. She moaned softly when the long-legged Watcher disappeared around the corner. Ooh yes... Definite bonus... With a dreamy expression she fought her way through the amorous wildlife and quietly let herself into Giles's flat. The first part of Operation Giles Love was a go.

xxxxx

'Hello, Rupert. Quaint little toy shop you have here.'

The affected voice made Giles exchange a glum look with the eye of newt jar he was shelving. So the ponces had arrived? Wonderful... He took a steadying breath and shoved his suddenly trembling hands into his pockets. He could do this. Buffy needed a Watcher and she'd made it all too clear that place was no longer his. With a small sigh he turned around and gave the speaker an appraising look. Ah, yes. Tanned, brawny and exceptionally stupid. Buffy's type to a T.

'Hello, Dan. How... uh... n-nice to see you' he lied with a barely suppressed sigh.

'Hm. Yes.' Daniel raised a shoulder in a dismissive shrug and swiftly changed the subject. 'Dull little town, this' he mused. 'We went for a bite to eat after we arrived yesterday. Not much of a nightlife, is there?'

'You should try the cemeteries' Giles muttered under his breath.

'Although things are most definitely looking up today' the newcomer continued, calmly ignoring the remark. He stretched and gave the space behind Giles a slippery smile. 'Your little emporium must make quite a bundle for you to be able to afford such pretty assistants. Won't you introduce us, Rupert?'

Giles closed his eyes in aggravation. The man might be an efficient Watcher, but he also was a most insufferable prat.

'Daniel, this is' he turned around and blinked when he was presented with decidedly more cleavage than expected 'um... W-Willow?'

'Hi Rupert' the young witch purred seductively up at him, putting a small hand on his arm. 'Who's the old guy?'

Giles blinked again. Had she just called him..? His wary eyes met much too innocent ones and he groaned under his breath. Oh, dear Lord, no. Willow was being "helpful". He was doomed.

'May I see you in the back room for a moment, Willow?' he asked resignedly.

'But... Old guy...' she objected, indicating Daniel who was observing them with ill-concealed interest. Giles fixed her with a stern look.

'Back room. Now' he ordered. The redhead gulped and meekly followed him through the shop. Giles closed the door behind them and turned towards her with his arms crossed. 'Well?' he said expectantly. Willow peeked nervously at him.

'Hi, Giles' she mumbled in a poor attempt at stalling.

'Hello, Willow' he replied in an even tone. 'Well?'

'Well what?' the Wicca asked uneasily.

'Well, why this...' his eyes swept over her sparse attire before quickly returning to her face '...sudden change of wardrobe?'

'I... uh... thought it was time for a makeover..?' she tried.

The Watcher shot her a cynical look.

'And on the day the people from the Council arrive at my doorstep too. Imagine that' he observed dryly.

'Oops, coincidence..?'

'Right. Coincidence...' he drawled, his mocking glare radiating exasperated affection. 'Thank you, Willow, I truly appreciate the... uh... effort... I just don't think it's going to work.' Giles's eyes were drawn to the generous amount of skin on display and he swallowed hard. 'Whatever _it_ is.'

Willow's cheeks reddened and she gave the flustered Watcher a guilty look.

'Uh. It's... I thought... I mean, we thought...' she stuttered.

Giles rolled his eyes.

'I'm probably better off not knowing?' he interpreted.

'Probably' the redhead agreed sheepishly.

'I see.' The Watcher favoured her with one of his rare self-conscious half grins. 'Well, it's appreciated.' He paused and contemplated her outfit. 'In a very daunting way' he added reflectively.

Willow gloomily nodded her assent. The plan had seemed a lot more logical at 2am the previous night. And the store's AC might be good for the merchandise but it did nothing for her comfort. She shivered and stole a furtive glance at Giles. Ah, well. The gratified expression on the Englishman's face was more than worth a bit of inconvenience and a potential cold. She hesitated briefly before boldly throwing her arms around him and burying her face in his shirt.

'I really love you, you know' she mumbled into his chest.

'Um. Y-yes. I l-love you too, Willow' Giles stuttered distractedly as he tried to find a clothed enough spot of Wicca to reciprocate the embrace.

'Good.' The witch snuggled closer. 'This is nice. You're a good hugger, Giles' she added with a contented sigh.

'Must be the company' Giles replied with a gentle smile, dropping a quick kiss on the silky hair. Willow giggled.

'You're being silly' she announced indistinctly.

'Undoubtedly' the Watcher complied. 'And once more I blame the company.'

Willow leant back and gave him a mock glare.

'Not quite as enamoured by you anymore' she huffed.

'I'm heartbroken' Giles declared and the witch stuck her tongue out at him. He half grinned at her once more before giving the door a gloomy stare. 'I guess we'd better go rescue Anya from the old guy...' he shot Willow a quick smile, her emphasis on old hadn't escaped him and he was quite sure it hadn't escaped Daniel either '...before our resident vengeance demon decides to come out of early retirement.'

The Wicca nodded and reluctantly extracted herself from the embrace.

'Right. The old guy' she repeated. A flicker of indecision flashed through her eyes before she reached up and pressed her lips against the surprised Watcher's. He stared at her in confused silence as she took a step back, her eyes firmly glued to his mouth. Apparently satisfied with her work she beamed at him and perkily bounced across the room. Giles glazed eyes followed her as she stopped just inside the door, dragged her hand across her mouth and ruffled up her hair. He shook his head in bewilderment. She really was the strangest girl.

xxxxx

'Sexually harassing the employees? Really, Rupert…' Daniel tutted in mock disappointment. 'The spots never change, do they, _Ripper_?'

'Hm. What?' It was with difficulty Giles tore his bemused eyes away from the unusually animated Willow, and Dan gave him an impatient look.

'The lipstick' he stated disapprovingly. 'With your colouring something warmer would be much more becoming.'

Giles's brow furrowed. What lipsti... He rubbed at his lips and eyed his fingers suspiciously. Ah. _That_ lipstick. He gave the very innocent-looking Wicca a withering glare. Things were suddenly beginning to fall into place.

'Thank you for the fashion tip, I'll be sure to keep that in mind' he muttered testily. 'What is it you want, Dan?'

'Temper, Rupert. Temper.' Daniel leant comfortably against a bookshelf and shot the irate Englishman a complacent smirk. 'Anyway, I want the Codex' he added unflinchingly.

'Of course. And I should lend it to you because..?' Giles inquired with cutting politeness.

'Because even as an _ex_-Watcher you want what's best for the Slayer' Daniel pointed out, maliciously stressing the ex. Giles deflated slightly.

'Yes. Q-Quite. It's at my flat, I'll make sure you have it by tomorrow' he promised resignedly.

'Why wait, Rupert, old boy?' Dan asked with a triumphant expression. 'That book is in all probability the only interesting thing we'll find in this town. Let's go get it.'

'But...'

'Oh, I'll come with you. I'm sure you're dying to show me your... I was going to say family, but that would have been insensitive of me, wouldn't it?' Dan gave Giles an unpleasant smile. 'Well, I'm sure you'll love to show me your bachelor pad. It's probably very... uh... clean...'

The indignant Giles was expertly dragged out of the shop, leaving Willow and Anya to exchange a thoughtful look. Willow reached for the phone.

'Buffy? Slight change of plans...


	3. Chapter 3

'Interesting look, cleaning staff having the year off?' Daniel asked, examining Giles's flat with smug satisfaction.

The Watcher rolled his eyes and shot him a half-hearted glare. Bloody wanker. Deliberately ignoring the subsequent jibes he leant his hip against the sofa, hunched his shoulders, and surveyed his living room in a meditative silence. He had no doubt Willow was the brains behind its new look, but, with her safely stored away at the Magic Box, she clearly wasn't the brawn. Which meant she had an accomplice... Giles groaned and ran the short list of suspects through his mind. Anya was excluded by the same logistics as Willow, and he very much doubted Tara would enter his flat without leave. His eyes fell on a champagne coloured bra carelessly slung over the back of the armchair and he smiled grimly. So not Xander either, or that young man would have some rather riveting explaining to do. Which left…

'Rupert?'

…Buffy. The Watcher dropped his head when he heard the breathless voice drift down from the loft. What now?

'Uh. Y-Yes?'

'I'll be right down, hon.'

Of course. More help. How… nice…

'Can't wait, sweetie' he muttered with ill-concealed lack of enthusiasm. Turning around he grudgingly followed his almost salivating colleague's eyes towards the stairs, his own eyes widening in fascination as a stunning vision of bare legs, tousled hair, and what he recognized as one of his favourite dress shirts somewhere in between, bounced down the steps and threw itself into his arms.

'Missed ya' Buffy murmured happily, resting her chin on his chest and looking up at him with a radiant smile. Giles cleared his throat.

'Uh… m-missed you t-too' he replied, still a bit foggy on the plot line, but with an armful of animated Slayer he was quite willing to make an effort.

Buffy's smile widened at the nervous stutter but her eyes never left his lower lip. Well, Willow had said to make it look real… She tugged gently at the Watcher's neck until his mouth was within reach, paused for a second, wet her lips, and gave her reason a final chance to interfere. _Oh, for Pete's sake. _Her subconscious rolled its eyes and prompted her to slowly close the last few inches between them, brush her mouth to Giles's in a soft, appraising kiss, and then reluctantly pull back. She tilted her head and, with her eyes still closed, licked her lips thoughtfully. Wow… that had been… that had been _wow_. Once more the tip of her tongue darted out to taste the lingering Gilesy flavour and she nodded approvingly. Yup. Definitely wow.

'That toy shop of yours must really make a mint if an old bore like you can afford to keep a nice looking slapper like that in his bed, Rupert.' Daniel's snide voice hit Buffy's hazy reveries like a bucket of icy water, and it took all her Slayer strength to prevent the furious Giles from committing instant Watchercide.

'Unlike some people,' her annoyed glower left Dan in no doubt as to whom at least one of those people was 'Rupert doesn't have to pay a woman to share his bed.'

Daniel shot her an incredulous look.

'You're telling me old Rupes here has the stamina to satisfy a young thing like you?' he asked bluntly.

'Oh, I wouldn't worry about Rupert's… stamina…' Buffy purred suggestively. 'The man's a stevedore in bed.' She lowered her eyelids and looked up at her Watcher with a wanton smile. 'And on the hood of a police car.'

Giles removed his glasses and gave the ceiling a pained glance. That damned aspect of demon.

'Ah, yes,' he quickly cut in before the conversation could get even more out of hand 'I think that is quite enough. Daniel, may I introduce Buffy Summers?' Buffy bared her teeth in what could generously be interpreted as a smile. 'The Slayer' he added, not without some pride. Dan gave him a look of utter disbelief.

'You're shagging the Slayer?' he yelped. 'Oh, Ripper, no wonder the Council fired you.'

'And no wonder I fired the Council' Buffy returned coolly. 'Which means the only reason you _might_ get to study an active Slayer at this retreat is because of Rupert. Keep those remarks up and all you'll end up doing is roasting marshmallows and singing campfire songs.' She took a step closer. 'In soprano.'

xxxxx

'You threatened to cut off his… eep!' Willow was leaning forward, her mouth open in shocked anticipation as she listened to Buffy retelling the story. 'Yikes. What did he say?'

'He didn't get to say anything,' Buffy beamed at her squirming Watcher ''cause that's when someone got kinda crabby and released his inner Ripper on him.'

'Yes, well, isn't it time for that movie about now' Giles hurriedly interrupted with a dark look at the Slayer. 'And maybe some cake?' he continued in a slightly more hopeful tone.

'On it, G-man' Xander said, taking pity on the ruffled Englishman. He grinned widely at the rest of the party. 'But no one finishes that story until I'm back.' Dodging a hairy eyeball from the Watcher, the young man quickly escaped into the kitchen.

'I've told you not to call me that' Giles complained resignedly after him.

'Call you what, Big G?' the unperturbed Xander hollered back. The older man rolled his eyes and turned back to the female branch of the Scooby gang.

'So would someone perhaps care to fill me in as to why Daniel by now is under the impression that I'm having a midlife crisis the size of Scotland?' he inquired with polite interest. Willow fidgeted with the hem of her shirt.

'It… seemed like a good idea at the time?' she mumbled, arduously avoiding his eyes.

'It's still a good idea' Anya interjected. 'Sexual prowess is a perfectly acceptable way of impressing one's peers.' Her eyes raked appreciatively over the Englishman's body. 'And Giles is definitely impressive.'

'Yes, thank you, Anya,' the Watcher snapped, shifting uncomfortably 'but my… um… physical aptitude is not the subject here.'

'Could we make it the subject?' Willow asked before squeezing her eyes shut when three Scoobies turned to her with intrigued curiosity. 'I didn't mean it like that' she muttered defensively.

Giles tried to give her a firm look, but a fit of uncontrollable giggles rather ruined the effect.

'Oh, Willow' he finally hiccupped 'I love you dearly, but those harebrained schemes of yours will be the death of me.'

The witch was much too relieved by his giggles to object to the harebrained part of the statement, and Buffy's eyes narrowed irritably as the witch snuggled up to the Watcher and wrapped her arms around him in an affectionate hug. Her subconscious gave her a smug grin. _Jealous, am I? _She shrugged dismissively. Of course not. It's just Giles. And Willow. And besides, there's nothing going on. There's nothing going on, right? She shrugged again. Of course there isn't. Although he never hugs _me_ like that. She tilted her head moodily as she studied Giles's flushed face, how his giggles died out and then started again, and how his eyes shimmered with amused indulgence as he looked at the Wicca. Without warning her stomach twinged in acute animosity towards her best friend, and she blinked in surprise. Okay, that was weird. She scowled unconsciously at Tara as that young witch received a tender look from the Watcher. And then she scowled consciously at Anya, just for good measure. Since the ex demon happened to be watching the Slayer at the time, she received the full force of the scowl and carefully inched back in the armchair, staring at the blonde with a wary expression. Well, let her, Buffy mused huffily. At least it keeps the hussy from looking at Gil… Oh, God. She really was jealous, wasn't she? _No shit, Sherlock…_ Shut up. Not helping. And why should she be jealous anyway? _Well, why shouldn't she? Just look at that chest…_ Buffy looked – and quickly looked away again. Stop that. Still not helping. _Sorry. Just pointing out the scenery. _Buffy's eyes were once more drawn to the chest area. Well, it _was_ nice scenery.

'Buffy?'

She jumped and gave Giles a guilty look.

'So you're going to break up with me?' she asked in a timid voice, alarmed at how much she actually hated the idea. _Uh… I do know it's just make-believe, don't I? _Yes. Thank you. Go away.

An expression Buffy couldn't quite decipher flickered across Giles's face.

'It would probably be for the best' he nodded.

'But we can't give up now' Willow objected heatedly. 'What about Poophead Dan?'

Buffy's face lit up and she shot the Wicca a grateful smile.

'Yeah, what she said. There's no way I'll let a poophead go all gloaty over my Watcher.' She grinned naughtily at Giles. 'Pucker up, Book Guy, I see a lot of PDAs in your future.'

'How nice' the Englishman drawled tantalizingly. 'And I take it Riley is fine with that?'

'Uh…' Damn. Riley. She'd forgotten about him. How could she have done that? And don't even think about mentioning Giles's chest. Her subconscious shrugged amicably. _Okay, so how about those long, yummy legs then?_ Buffy growled quietly. Please go away.

'Buffy?' Giles gave the distracted Slayer an understanding smile. 'We'll tell Dan the truth tomorrow. It will be fine, I promise.'

'No!' Buffy looked as surprised as the rest of the Scoobs at her sudden outburst. 'No' she continued more calmly. 'We can do this. And if Riley doesn't like it? Tough cookies.' She shrugged determinedly. 'No one messes with _my_ Watcher is all I'm saying.'

Giles blushed and smiled shyly at Buffy.

'Yes. Quite. I'll just go help… Um… Tea.'

Buffy and Willow grinned fondly after the suddenly inarticulate Englishman as he fled towards the kitchen.

xxxxx

'Giles?'

The Watcher shot the dirty dishes an apprehensive glare. He recognized that tone. It was the tone of the full-blown pout.

'Yes, Buffy?' he replied guardedly.

Buffy lifted herself onto the kitchen counter and eyed his back with a furrowed brow. The-Not-Quite-A-Surprise Party had been a success, but once the rest of the gang had left her Watcher had turned back into the emotional marathon man. She gave him a disgruntled look.

'Willow's staying at Tara's tonight' she began, her voice carefully neutral.

Giles examined the statement. No. Still no clues as to where the conversation was leading.

'Yes' he nodded, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

'I-I thought… I just wondered if it would be okay if I… you know… hung out here for the night?' she asked pleadingly, ending the sentence on a small whine.

Ah. Right. That was… not what he had expected. At all.

'Y-Yes. Of course.' He frowned and turned around, giving her a concerned look. 'Is everything alright?'

She smiled reassuringly.

'Yeah, total peachness. Just want to spend some quality time with my favourite Watcher.'

'Hm. I'll just go call Daniel, shall I?' Giles said with a small smirk.

Buffy's smile widened. Smirking Watcher? Definitely of the good.

'He really is a pillock, isn't he?' she remarked, enjoying the luminous green of Giles's eyes as he rewarded her with one of his fleeting grins.

'Indeed' he agreed before returning to the sink. Buffy blew irritably at an errant wisp of hair and gave his back a mulish look. She intended to get some serious Watcher/Slayer bonding done, so someone needed to work on his inner cooperativeness.

'Giles?' she tried again.

'Yes, Buffy' he answered patiently.

'Um. Won't I wake you when I get back from patrol?'

Giles turned around again, eyeing her with a curious expression.

'I'm sure I can find a nice enough demon to research until your return' he replied dryly, the corners of his mouth tilting upwards in a teasing smile.

'Oh' she mumbled, trying not to show her disappointment. 'It's just… I was kinda hoping…'

'Or I could accompany my favourite Slayer on patrol' he suggested in an elaborately careless way. Buffy's eyes brightened and she gave him a 1000 watt smile.

'I'll just go call Faith, shall I?' she offered, her eyes sparkling with delight.

'Yes, please tell her I'll meet her in the living room as soon as I've finished washing up' the Watcher accepted with a straight face and turned back to the dirty dishes. He counted slowly under his breath.

'Giles?'

Nine. Longer than expected.

'Yes, Buffy?' he drawled, his voice tinged with laughter.

'Are you going to get in trouble with the Council for getting groiny with the Slayer?'

There was a loud crash as Giles let go of the glass he was washing.


	4. Chapter 4

'Was that a yes?' Buffy asked, her eyes glued to the shattered glass.

'It's not... We're not… And besides, the Council fired me, so even if we were…' The Watcher's voice trailed off.

'If we were doing the wacky?' the small blonde supplied with a hesitant smile.

'Which we aren't,' Giles quickly replied before fishing out a handkerchief and removing his glasses for a quick polish. 'And since we aren't involved in that way I find the question rather moot' he finished virtuously, shooting a dark glare at the Slayer.

'Still sounds like a yes to me' she sulked. Giles raised a shoulder in defeat.

'There really is no need to worry about this, Buffy' he stated grudgingly. 'I am _not_ going to get in trouble for getting… uh… groiny with my Slayer.' His subconscious sniggered. _No, old man. What's going to get you in trouble is _wanting _to get groiny with your Slayer._ The Watcher's lips twitched ironically. Indeed.

'_Really_ really?' Buffy pressed on, still an uncertain tremble in her voice.

'Yes, really really' Giles growled impatiently as he bent down and started picking up glass shards. The blonde's troubled expression brightened.

'Cool' she said, beaming widely. 'So. Patrol..?' she continued, trying to force her uncooperative features into a sad pout. Giles gave the remaining glass fragments a resigned look.

'Five minutes, Buffy' he muttered. 'Longer if you keep pestering me.'

'Consider this a pester-free area, Grumpy Guy' the Slayer accepted. 'I'll get our weapon bags while you finish slaying the evil glass, shall I?'

'Please' he huffed up at her, failing to suppress an affectionate grin. Buffy grinned back and took a couple of steps towards the living room.

'Um… Giles..?' she mumbled shyly, the uncertain tone back in her voice.

'Yes?'

'You do know I… you know… kinda love you, don't you?'

The Watcher blinked at where she was hovering in the doorway, his subconscious losing some of its smugness. _Although not the way you want her to, you berk, _it observed with a forced smirk. Giles calmly ignored the inner voice with an ease only years of practice could bring.

'Y-yes. Thank you. It's… uh… good to know' he stuttered, looking down at the glass remains in front of him. 'I… uh… kind of love you too.'

Worrying her lower lip Buffy contemplated his bowed head.

'I don't want you to leave' she finally added in a small voice. 'I can't do this without you.'

Giles pulled himself to his feet and raised his suddenly very bright eyes to hers.

'I don't want to leave' he said ruefully. 'But you need a Watcher, Buffy. And much as I hate to admit it, Daniel is good at what he does.'

'But I already have a Watcher' she objected passionately. 'And the bestest one at that.'

'We both know I haven't been your Watcher for quite some time' Giles pointed out with a sad smile. Buffy's eyes widened guiltily.

'Wrong, Repentance Guy. You've always been my Watcher. It was me who wasn't your Slayer. Which is so going to change, by the way. Behold the new and improved Buffy 2.0. Totally user friendly. Very Watcher compatible.' Tilting her head she gave the Englishman an earnest look.

'Yes, and we all know how apt I am with the modern technology' he returned, his eyes softening as they met hers, informing her that no matter what had happened between them she was very much forgiven. 'Now, about those weapon bags...' he continued gruffly, his voice rich with unspoken emotions.

'On it.' She gave him one of those grins that made her look ten years old. 'Guess they must have forgotten to upgrade Buffy 2.0's memory capacity.'

'Five minutes' he warned her, his eyes following her as she left the kitchen. 'And Buffy...' She froze. 'I promise I'll never leave you' he said softly. 'Not unless you ask me to.'

She didn't turn around.

'I won't.'

XXXXX

'…and then maybe we could go for ice cream?'

Giles gave the excited Slayer an amused look.

'As I recall, my fridge is stuffed with chocolate cake leftovers' he reminded her.

'Well, we could get ice cream to bring home to the chocolate cake' she pouted. 'The chocolate cake might feel lonely. And then the ice cream comes, and the chocolate cake is all "Oh, hello Mr Ice Cream, nice to meet you" and the ice cream goes "Hello there, chocolaty goodness" because ice cream is very flirty, and then the chocolate cake goes "Well, don't you look good enough to eat" because chocolate cake? Very flirty too. And then…'

'And then we eat them?' Giles asked hopefully. Buffy looked up at him with an exuberant smile.

'And then we eat them' she agreed. Her smile vanished as a sudden movement from a nearby restaurant caught her eyes. 'Poophead at two o'clock' she informed the bewildered Giles, who, quickly scanning the area, finally spotted a handful of Watchers exiting The Haven.

'That is not two o'clock, Buffy' he complained.

'Yes, and that is of course the main issue here' she muttered with an affronted glare.

'Well, it would be nice to know that if we were to encounter a pack of vampires you wouldn't be giving directions in Greenwich Mean Time' the Englishman remarked sourly.

'So still not the issue. Besides, Poopy and friends are on their way over, so shut up and put out, Loverboy' the blonde hissed as she nuzzled up to her Watcher and put her right hand in his back pocket, squeezing gently. Giles yelped and glared down into her innocent eyes.

'You did that on purpose' he squeaked.

Buffy giggled uncontrollably at his incredulous expression.

'Hey, you have a very squeezable butt. I squeezed,' she finally managed between desperate gulps for air. Giles's brow furrowed. Buffy thought he had a squeezable butt? He waited for a cutting remark from his subconscious, but it seemed just as dumbfounded as he was.

'Ah. Yes. Um. Thank you.'

'You're welcome.' She gave him a breathless grin before turning towards the approaching Watchers with a less friendly expression. 'Hello, Daniel' Buffy greeted the blond man in a bored voice, careful to place herself between him and the by now very tense – and heavily armed – Giles. 'How nice to see you again' she continued with saccharine insincerity. 'Who are your playmates?'

Four Watchers tripped over each other in their eagerness to meet the Slayer, and she reluctantly removed her hand from Giles's pocket. Dan eyed the excitement with standoffish resentment.

'Well, isn't this cosy? Do you ever let the little woman out of your sight, Rupert, or are you too afraid she would go out and find someone better?'

'I'd say it's more a case of me wanting all this Watchery sexiness on tap' Buffy murmured, snuggling closer to the tall man besides her. 'And you know, dark and deserted graveyards?' She grinned suggestively at Daniel, deliberately wetting her lips. 'Very romantic. Very… aah… secluded...'

'Quite. Yes. Right. Uh. I think…' The befuddled man fell silent, his glazed eyes glued to her mouth.

'Good. Thinking? Definitely recommended' Buffy said flippantly. She gave the rest of the Watchers an amiable nod. 'Well, gotta go. Cemeteries to see, demons to kill. Sleep tight, gentlemen. Don't let the vampires bite.'

The Slayer laced her fingers through Giles's and turned to leave.

'Bye, Ripper.' Dan called after them, his voice regaining its malicious quality. 'See you tomorrow. Don't be late.'

Buffy shot the blond Watcher a heavy-lidded smile over her shoulder.

'Oh, I hope you don't expect him _too_ early...'

XXXXX

'Okay, Secretive Guy. Share. What's tomorrow? And why does Poophead hate you so much?' Buffy demanded, crossing her arms and glaring at the mute Watcher.

'Hmm?' he hummed absentmindedly.

'Poophead not head of the Giles fan club – what's the what with that?' she tried again.

'Ah. Yes. The what.' The Watcher smiled sheepishly. 'I guess that would be you.'

'Um. Really not making much with the sense here, Giles' she observed. 'Why would he hate you because of me? Pretty sure I've never seen the guy before in my life.'

'Dan was lined up to be Watcher to the next active Slayer.' Giles rolled his eyes. 'Absolutely full of himself he was too, the wanker. And then you came along.' He grinned sardonically. 'Of course, an untrained American was not what ole Daniel had had in mind, so he convinced the Council to send Merrick instead.' The Englishman's expressive eyes warmed as they met the Slayer's. 'And then John died and the Council decided to clear up two of their problems in one go by sending me. We weren't supposed to survive those first months, you know.' Buffy nodded. 'But we did. And then we kept on surviving, making you the most successful Slayer in centuries.' Giles smirked at her. 'Which now makes you worthy of Dan's attention.'

'Oh, I truly am the chosen one' she muttered dryly. 'Okay, so Poopy hates you for being alive. Nice guy... What was that about tomorrow?'

The Watcher's face darkened.

'Ah. Yes. Tomorrow… I had quite a comfy chat with Travers earlier. Apparently I'm required to attend all of the bloody seminars on this retreat.' He glared back to where they'd left the Watchers. 'It's not like I ever got invited to any of the sodding things, and now they've gone and made me the fucking subject.'

Buffy gave him a sympathetic glance.

'Come on, Watcher mine. Let's go slay something.'

XXXXX

The Slayer cast a bad-tempered glare towards the stairs as she tried to curl into a more comfortable position. Giles's light snores kept drifting down, emphasizing the fact that she was still very much awake.

'…so he convinced the Council to send Merrick instead.'

Buffy stared unseeingly into the dark. What would her life had been like with Daniel as her Watcher? She rolled her eyes. Probably a lot shorter... She doubted that he would have cared about her. Not like Merrick had. Not like Giles did.

With a frustrated sigh she got to her feet and padded impatiently towards the kitchen. Life without Giles as her Watcher? Not to be contemplated without the addition of ice cream.

Armed with a spoon and a tub of Baskin-Robbins she puttered around the dimly lit flat, occasionally grinning at a particularly Gilesy touch. A Harry Potter book half hidden behind The Black Chronicles. An abandoned tea cup on the window sill. A pile of old leather bound books on the table beneath it. A photo album on top of a book shel... Buffy brightened. Watchery pictures to take her mind off her lack of sleep? Perfect!

Returning to the couch she opened the album and poured all over the photographs. The first snapshot was of her Watcher as a toddler. She giggled quietly. No tweedy diapers, but definitely adorable. Turning the sheets she smiled as every page revealed something new about the Englishman. Her eyes widened and she giggled again. Like the fact that he had been quite the little nudist in his early age...  
Turning another leaf she came face to face with an adolescent Giles grinning shyly into the camera. Buffy's index finger trailed the angular features. Wow. Her Watcher had been a hottie! She turned eagerly to the next page only to find the spread filled with pictures of different girls fawning over Teenage Giles. She scowled irritably. God, wake up and smell the slutty already! _Jealous again, huh? _Of course not. Just disapproving from a feminist perspective. Pointedly ignoring anything else her subconscious might have to say she tilted her head and focused on her Watcher. Mmm. Beyond hot. And eerily Gilesy. Same smile. Same eyes. Same… She put the album down and eyed the stairs thoughtfully. How had she missed that Giles was a studmuffin? _Umm… _Shut up.

She shot the loft a hesitant glance, and, chewing her lower lip, got off the sofa and pattered over to the staircase. Carefully creeping up the steps she hesitated on the landing, anxiously listening to the Watcher's even breaths. Inching herself across the bedroom she perched herself on the wooden chair by the bed and examined the sleeping form intently. _See? Yummy! _She nodded, her eyes fixed on a well toned leg escaping from the sheets. Wow. Giles has legs. _Um… yes? _But… She waved indistinctly. Legs! _Giles. Legs. Still with the yes. _But Giles isn't supposed to have legs! _Right. Hate to disagree with me there, but most people have them. _Uh-uh. Not legs like that they don't. And, oh God, did I just ogle my Watcher? _If I mean did I just look at him like I wanted to strip him of his clothes and go at it all night, then I'd definitely say so. _Oh. Okay...  
Her subconscious gave her a calculating look. _I do remember Riley, don't I? Boyfriend. Muscely Guy. About yea high. _Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Buffy's eyes were glued to the white T-shirt clinging to the Watcher's torso. So he wasn't as sculpted as Riley, but… ooh, chest hair. Her hand was impulsively reaching for the wisp of hair straying up over the neckline and her inner voice sighed resignedly. _Like having a conversation with a fruit fly... _What? _Riley? Remember him? _I guess, Buffy admitted petulantly. But… Watcher goodness on display! Her subconscious arched an eyebrow. _Watcher goodness? _Yes? _What happened to eew? _The Slayer pouted. Well, it _was_ eewy with Olivia. With me… Her eyes widened. Had she been on the verge of saying "with me it would be yummy"? No. Of course not. Had she? Oh God, she had. Okay, think of Riley. She smiled. Riley… I like Riley's hands. Her eyes travelled to where her Watcher was holding his sheet in a death grip. They're not as sensual as Giles's, but they are nice… hands… Okay, what is going on? Her subconscious smirked. _Looks like someone has the hots for her Watcher… _Do not, she objected indignantly. _Right. That's why I'm looking at Giles like Xander looks at his pictures of the Swedish Bikini Team then?_ I don't! Buffy hesitated. Do I? _Mmhmm... _But. Riley? _Apparently_ _Riley isn't bikini material... _Oh, I am so not having this discussion. And I do not have the hots for my Watcher. She looked down at the sleeping Giles with a guilty expression. Much…


End file.
